Wow, it’s been a while. I was so excited back in January to “change the conversation” yet little did I know, deep subconscious beliefs would derail that change. The first two weeks in January started out so good. I felt really good and was proud of myself for doing little things that were changing the conversation with myself. A couple weeks back into the second semester of school, and “BAM” I’m derailed. To give a quick Reader’s Digest version, my kids attend a private University Model School. While my 10-year-old daughter fits in well and I fit in well with the mommas of kids in her grade, my 13-year-old is a different story. She and I have never fit in, from the beginning. We had a rough go when she was 9 during 4th grade. We switched days and kept her back a grade while her peers moved on. At the time it was okay, however, this year it caught up to us in a bad way. Where we didn’t quite fit in before, the second semester of 6th grade it became a glaring beacon that not only did we not fit in, we didn’t belong. She doesn’t belong with the kids, I don’t belong with the moms, and our family doesn’t belong with other families on these particular days. It was a lonely and painful semester for both of us. Little glimmers of hope were suddenly shot down with pictures of reality. Rather than change the conversation like I had been so determined to do was quickly derailed into the familiarity of pain and isolation, realizing the choice I made in that horrible moment was most likely a mistake. What kept me from the total darkness of depression was my 3rd-grade momma tribe and a handful of momma friends outside of the 3rd-grade (now 4th-grade) tribe. It was hard for me to change the conversation and even write when the reality of what was going on around me was affirming the subconscious beliefs so ingrained. Hurting myself, and seeing my child hurting, cut so deeply as I had been, it was all just too much.

Fast forward to July which just so happens to be my birthday month. All that we’ve been dealing with as a family, I came into age 43 the heaviest and most out of shape I have ever been in my life. I realized that due to the season of life we are in, things will only get more challenging and isolating as we navigate middle school so I can make a choice to deal with my stuff, support my daughter, and do something out of the box to get my body moving again. So the fun stuff, get my body moving again. Most fitness things I’ve tried, I hated mainly due to being self-conscious about how my body looks and the fact that I’m just plain out of shape. My friends are in really good shape and so fitness classes with them are very hard. Camp Gladiator, oh my word, I’m about to DIE! Zumba, oh is that me or a fat dying chicken I see in the mirror. Yoga, can’t get my body to go in that position. Pilates, excuse me I didn’t mean to pass gas. As you can imagine, I just stopped going. I would do some things here at the house by myself but it wasn’t consistent. Early morning on July 11th, the day after my 43rd birthday, I see a Facebook post about a new fitness studio that has opened up not too far from me. I was intrigued so I called the owner. I asked a bunch of questions, thought, “hmmmmm, the Greatest Showman was a good movie, what Zendaya was doing with the aerial acrobatics looks fun, my dad and Aunt Gale had an acrobatic act called the flying Vascellinis”, and alright, interest peaked. My best friend of over 18 years has been staying with me for the past week and I said to her, “Hey, let’s go look at this place and talk to the owner some more.” Texted another BFF and was like, “hey look at this, wanna try it?” Wednesday the three of us were signed up for an intro to aerial class. The owner, Allison, had informed us that most likely since this was a new class it might just be the three of us, what a relief for me.

Thursday evening we drive to the studio and behold it is just the three of us in class. We start on the hammock, my besties are ROCKIN’ it and I’m screaming in fear, lol. It took me three times spotted to get into the inverted frog pose. I did it! I was so happy. Then we moved to aerial silks. Zendaya did those in The Greatest Showman and it’s what you see on Instagram. Again my besties were AMAZING. I was having trouble getting off the floor, then she had us do the Russian Hold and I got an inch off the ground, success!!!! Then the Hoop, the class that I wanted to do. Again another thing that Zendaya did in The Greatest Showman which is what got my interest peaked in the studio. My two besties, amazeballs with the Hoop. Me, I could not get my leg into the hoop but laughed the entire time. What a fun and different workout. What a hard uncomfortable thing to do. When the class finished we all looked at each other and said, “let’s do the Aerial Yoga class on Saturday.” I was not as sore yesterday because I don’t have a lot of upper body or core strength and couldn’t fully do what they did. I wasn’t as sore as I thought I would be but I also didn’t die. I got over some mental blocks as well. That was huge for me. All day yesterday I was looking forward to today’s aerial yoga. We make it to class and there are two more ladies in the class. I thought to myself, we are all in this together. Class starts off with stretching in the aerial hammock. Then we start doing traditional yoga poses but with the assistance of an aerial hammock. Never have I gotten a hip stretch from pigeon pose like I did in the hammock. We also did inverted frog pose again, this time, not only did I not scream, I went right into it. Sadly though after hanging out there for a while, I threw up my protein shake. *Note don’t chug a protein shake, eat a lot, or take your supplements right before an aerial workout. When I came back to class, everyone was resting since it was toward the end. I ended up lying on a yoga mat rather than in the hammock since the hammock moves. When class was over, everyone was so supportive. One of the ladies told me to be sure and not eat anything before class. The instructor was so supportive and told me that I will get a little stronger each time I come. I wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed I didn’t finish. This was such a fun workout and I could tell that my body was really working hard!

Will someone read this and judge me for doing circus inspired fitness? Totally. Will someone reading this feel that aerial fitness is absolutely inappropriate for a middle-aged Christian woman? Probably. I have found that not only is anything about it inappropriate, it is a fun and effective way to work out your body. You can get a better stretch using aerial silks than on your own. Flying while working out is a lot more fun. Mental blocks can be harder to overcome than physical blocks. Our bodies were created to move and that movement looks different for everyone. Some people will not approve of what you do no matter what it is. God created everyone unique so you be you and I’m gonna be me. 

You can see from my face in the picture on the silks, I’m moving and having fun and that is all that matters. This picture was taken after I got off the floor for a couple of seconds. I’m excited to see how much stronger I get. I’m also glad that I found an exercise regimen as quirky and random as I am. Yes at 43 I’m determined to change the conversation both consciously and subconsciously. I’m going to stop letting the fact that I’m overweight and out of shape stop me from doing something that looks fun. I will carry on The Flying Vascellinis even if it is a solo act. 

This year I will  start living by the following quote from an unknown author,”Tired of trying to cram her sparkly, star-shaped self into society’s beige square holes, she chose to embrace her ridiculous awesomeness and shine like the freaking supernova that she is.” One day you might see a new IG user with the name TheFlyingVascellini and that would be amazing.

I’m going to really work on writing more. I’m not sure what 7th grade has in store for us but I do know that rather than just getting by, I’m going to be having fun in the process. So look for more posts during the year to come. Here’s to 43!

Altitude Fitness is now open in Highland Village, TX. Call 940.441.5453 to talk to the owner Allison who is very helpful in answering all of your questions and any concerns.